Book Club Day 8: Filling the Void

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In Your Book: Before we begin, please turn in your copy of Faith Deployed...Again to page 126 and read "Filling the Void" by Sherry Lightner with Jocelyn Green. (If you don't have a book, don't go away! We'd love to have you join us for this discussion anyway!) Now Let's Talk: Today's discussion is led by Sherry Lightner. In "Filling the Void",  I shared with you my attempt to fill a hole in my heart by having another baby. But that’s not the only way we can try to fill that emptiness. In fact, it’s not even the only way I tried to fill it, myself. During our tender years of marriage, I am humbled to say our home was alcohol-free. Prior to yielding our lives to Christ, my husband and I both gravitated to this form of substance abuse as a means of escape, to fill the void. As we delved into the Scriptures the Holy Spirit began to transform our hearts. We no longer had a need for escape, for by His grace we were set free from this bondage, to walk in newness of life.

“Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life.” Romans 6:4

When my husband re-enlisted in the Army National Guard, I struggled, my insecurities were heightened; my weaknesses resurfaced, I once again wanted to escape. I fed into my weakness by reaching for a drink, but it didn’t satisfy. Instead, as I mentioned in my devotional, “I gained an insatiable desire to have a fourth child to fill the emptiness within.” But this, too, did not fill the aching emptiness I felt in my early years of being a military wife. I knew the Lord was the only one who could fill this void, but I was stubborn. With a glass of wine or mixed drink in one hand and my Bible in the other, I grappled with this call to serve and wondered, “Why me Lord, why me?” In my futile attempt to mask the pain; my feelings of loneliness, isolation and fear, escalated; even as I immersed myself in God’s Word. I had turned back to the weak and miserable habits that had enslaved me so long ago. Galatians 4:9 But God knew and understood my heart struggle just as He did Paul’s and the churches in Southern Galatia. The hole within my heart was a God-shaped hole, a hole only He would fill. And He did! On a cold, emotional, sleepless night in February, I turned back to God and pleaded for His forgiveness. The apostle John wrote, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 In my confession, I actively yielded my life back to God with every ounce of alcohol that was poured down the drain that night. By His grace, and my tears, God brought healing and restoration to my soul. I was, once again, set free from this bondage, to walk in newness of life. As I reflect back on this season, I can see the slow fade, the deterioration that took place in our home, in our marriage, the moment we allowed alcohol back in our home. Alcohol is a depressant. It hindered heart to heart communication and broke down the unity within our marriage. It influenced our children’s behaviors and heightened their insecurities as we served on the home front. Today, more than ten years later, our home is, once again, alcohol free, thanks to God’s faithfulness. 1 Thessalonians 5:24 Marshele Carter Waddell says to those of us serving on the home front: "We are tempted to turn to self-medicating ourselves, self- medicating the pain whether that means alcohol, pills, sex outside of marriage that's what it looks like." [Tweet "We are tempted to turn to self-medicating ourselves.""] It’s a slow fade when we give ourselves away to the things of this world. We are left empty and unsatisfied. But we don’t have to accept it, for God has provided a way out.

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

Take a moment to view this video below, “Slow Fade” by Casting Crowns. Warning: You may want to grab a Kleenex. I have yet to be able to listen to this without tears.

There are many military wives among us who are struggling to fill the void and/or even watching their husbands going through this, as well. If you are among this group of ladies, “Do not fear or be discouraged…for the battle is not yours but God’s.” 2 Chronicles 20:15 Hold fast to the eternal hope found in God’s Word. There is a light at the end of this struggle. His name is Jesus. John 8:12 [Tweet "There is a light at the end of this struggle."] Discuss: What are some ways you have tried to fill the void, or some ways you have seen others try to fill the void? What is a better way to handle the emptiness you feel inside?