Like Butter Scraped Over Too Much Bread

“I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.” ~Bilbo Baggins, The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien

Have you ever felt like Bilbo Baggins, thin and stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread? I know I have. Too many responsibilities, time commitments, priorities. Too many items on my to-do list at the end of the day, too many requests unfulfilled, emails unanswered, words unwritten.

But what if the answer isn't more butter, but less bread?

In other words, what if the solution isn't staying awake longer and dredging up more energy to tackle the unfinished business, but instead, to cover less territory with our time? I'm talking about paring down the number of things we do so we can actually reach realistic goals, rather than setting ourselves up to come up short against ridiculously high expectations.

I'm working on my new nonfiction book for women right now, title Free to Lean: Making Peace with Your Lopsided Life. The current chapter is about focusing on a few things rather than spreading ourselves too thin over many things. If you've done this in your own life--if you've cut out some good things to make room for the best things--I'd love to hear about it in the comments below. How did you get to a place where you decided something had to be cut from your schedule? Or, how did you know when to start saying "no" to requests for your time and energy? What difference did that make for you?

Or, if you have a hard time saying "no," what are your biggest reasons for defaulting to "yes"?

About the Author:

Jocelyn Green

Jocelyn Green inspires faith and courage as the award-winning and bestselling author of numerous fiction and nonfiction books, including The Mark of the King; Wedded to War; and The 5 Love Languages Military Edition, which she coauthored with bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman. Her books have garnered starred reviews from Booklist and Publishers Weekly, and have been honored with the Christy Award, the gold medal from the Military Writers Society of America, and the Golden Scroll Award from the Advanced Writers & Speakers Association. She graduated from Taylor University in Upland, Indiana, with a B.A. in English, concentration in writing. As a speaker, Jocelyn inspires faith and courage in her audiences. She loves Mexican food, Broadway musicals, strawberry-rhubarb pie, the color red, and reading with a cup of tea. Jocelyn lives with her husband Rob and two children in Cedar Falls, Iowa. Visit her at www.jocelyngreen.com.

Comments

I have a tendency to say yes

I have a tendency to say yes to too many good things. God really started to show me it was too much this past year when I was doing nothing well: I was stressed as a mama between all the extra meetings for the non profits and church ministry I said yes to, I wasn't doing the best for all the ministry and non profits because I was homeschooling and so much more, relationships were out of whack because I was bone dry after all my various commitments and my time with the Lord was less and less. I was disobedient for a very long time when finally I started to untangle the web. It's been hard but God keeps reminding me that nothing is dependent upon me. Ministries will go on, other people will step up. The only unique role I have are mama and wife so my first order of business is time with the Lord and then my family and then He will show me my yeses for the rest. My yes when it's not what He has for me keeps others from the blessing of serving. Being focused instead of divided is essential to complete the work He has for me.

So well said, Catherine.

So well said, Catherine. Thank you for sharing this! I've recently had to pare down some commitments too, and I agonized over it. (One of my red flags was that I had run out of energy to serve my own family well.) But afterward the peace I experienced over that decision was unmistakable. Thank you for chiming in!

Juggling care for three

Juggling care for three people with medical and sensory needs has allowed for a lot of growth in this area. As a recovering "people pleaser", it can be hard to say No, as I simply hate to disappoint- but I did get a lot of practice with this after my husband was diagnosed with PTSD. Also, in this season when I am trying to help my 17 year old son maintain some level of stability when dealing with hormones and diabetes, while also meeting the sensory needs of my youngest- well, time to REST and RECOVER is key. Just this past week I have had to say a polite but firm No, to a number of activities and requests. Whether, friends, family, or church family, there is always more going on than I have time- or energy to manage. Self-care for the caregiver is imperative. In fact, just this week, I felt the urge to send out a blanket social media post (in a private group) to the effect of- I love you all, but I am too tired to do anything else. And sometimes I do have to say No to the same person, more than once. I think at the end of the day, it is about prioritizing and planning what has to happen. What is most important. Time to rest for myself and my family is very high on this list. We have to PLAN time to recover from life with multiple medical issues. Anything that would take away from our recovery time has to be cut. Even if someone gets offended. I am continually in the process of making peace with the fact that it is not my job to make everyone happy- but it is my job to advocate for my family, and myself, and my needs, too. I take better care of my family's needs, when I take care of my needs, as well.

Amen to that, Rebekah! You

Amen to that, Rebekah! You bring up such an important point. Many times we think of focus as directing all of our energies toward production or output of some kind. But we also need to have focused periods of rest and recovery. It's easy to recognize the need for and schedule times of focused activity (tax season for the accountant, or a political campaign, or finals week for the student). It's not as natural to protect significant blocks of time for recovery. But oh so critical! How would we do what we are made to do if we don't focus on our hearts as well? Thank you Bekah--I was stuck at the end of this chapter, and you have just totally inspired me, once again. Such important thoughts!!

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Like Butter Scraped Over Too Much Bread

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